I hate that question deeply but it turns out “will an autistic child ever be normal” is one of the most common searches on the subject online.
Here we try and answer the questions people want answered.
If that includes difficult or poorly worded questions then so be it.
What is normal?
Why do I dislike that question so much?
Because who is to judge what is and isn’t normal.
I always argue that no person is normal, we all have our challenges and differences from one to another.
Some differences are subtle some are noticeable.
You could have a conversation with someone and they could be struggling with chronic depression and you not have the faintest idea.
Or perhaps they could be suffering from a terminal illness or other serious health condition.
Unless they wanted to disclose it you would be none the wiser.
Speaking personally, I for example struggle mightily with my sleep (I am writing this at 4.23am). However unless you are my wife you would never likely know.
My wife on the other hand has a terrible phobia of vomiting, something that shapes her life and experiences.
But again no one really knows other than me.
My point is that none of us are normal, some just are better at hiding it than others.
The crux of the question
I would imagine that if someone has typed that into a search engine there are probably two questions they are asking.
- Will my child blend into society?
- Will they have conventional life experiences?
Although these are more appropriately worded questions that does not mean they are any easier to answer.
I suppose the obvious thought that comes to mind is that it depends on where your child is on the spectrum.
If they are quite severely impacted by autism then the cold truth is that they will unlikely live a traditional life.
This is a difficult pill to swallow but I would like to stress that this doesn’t mean they can’t live a happy life.
That’s the goal isn’t it?
There are millions if not billions of people across the world who have no neuro-diversity but still live desperately difficult and unhappy lives.
Just because your child is autistic doesn’t mean they too are destined for unhappiness, quite the opposite actually in my view.
On the other end of the scale if your child is affected by ASD in a very minor way then I think the questions become a lot easier.
Yes they will be able to blend into society and yes they will likely have traditional experiences.
How can parents help?
Firstly never underestimate the power of loving parents.
If you raise your child in a loving environment, providing the emotional and educational support they need then you greatly improve their chances of living a traditional life.
That is not just me, a glass half fill parent of an autistic child talking.
Nearly every expert on the subject in the world agrees that with support and therapy either paid or home delivered you can greatly improve your child’s outlook for the future.
If we look at therapy there are many options available, including Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA), Occupational Therapy (OT), Speech and Language Therapy (SLT), and Developmental Therapy (DT).
Some, if not all of the above can be learnt and delivered by parents if obtaining the services of a professional isn’t an option.
A lot of the therapy and behavioural work is aimed at the goal of the blending into society.
We all have these rituals and communicative transactions in our daily life which might seem alien to someone with autism.
But the key is they can be taught and they can be learnt.
There are many many people with ASD both in the public eye or otherwise who have managed to hone and develop their social behaviour skills to the point that their condition is unnoticeable.
Summary – Will an autistic child ever be normal?
My answer to that horrible “will an autistic child ever be normal” question is yes.
Of course it is a yes coming with caveats but I believe to the depth of my soul that with help and support through childhood and into adulthood most people with autism can lead a normal life.
Well as ‘normal’ as anyone else is that is.
Please feel free to browse our archive for more support and tips on raising an autistic child.
