Many parents in our situation will have an autistic child who just will not listen no matter what we are trying to say.

In this post we go into some of the reasons why this might be the case and give some ideas towards what you can do about it.

Why they won’t listen

Firstly before going into some possible reasons why it is always important to caveat the fact that every autistic child is different.

With that said one of the hallmark features of ASD is difficulties with social communication and interaction.

Autistic children may have trouble understanding and interpreting nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and tone of voice, which can make it difficult for them to accurately perceive their parents’ intentions and emotions.

Additionally, autistic children may struggle with understanding the nuances of language, particularly sarcasm, metaphor, and idioms.

This can lead to confusion and misinterpretation of what their parents are saying.

Possible sensory factors

Another common feature of ASD is sensory sensitivities.

Autistic children may have heightened sensitivity to certain sensory stimuli, such as loud noises or bright lights, which can be overwhelming and distracting.

In some cases, this sensory overload can make it difficult for autistic children to focus on what their parents are saying or to process and retain information.

Attention and memory

Autistic children may also struggle with executive functioning skills, such as attention and working memory.

These difficulties can make it challenging for them to follow through with instructions or to remember what their parents have asked them to do.

Additionally, autistic children may have difficulty with transitions and changes in routine. This can make it challenging for them to adapt to new situations or to switch tasks when their parents ask them to do something else.

Methods to consider

Use clear, concise language: When giving instructions, it’s important to use simple and direct language that the child can easily understand. An example would be to say something like “table, now” as opposed to “come on, sit at the table, it’s time for dinner”.

Provide visual cues: Many autistic children are visual learners, so using pictures, diagrams, or other visual aids can help them understand what is expected of them.

You can create a visual schedule or checklist to help your child remember what they need to do.

Back to the example of the dinner table, you could say “table now” whilst holding a picture of the table or a meal.

Use positive reinforcement: When your child follows instructions or listens to you, be sure to praise them and provide positive reinforcement.

This can be in the form of verbal praise, a high-five, or a small reward.

Give your child time to process: Autistic children may need extra time to process instructions and respond.

Be patient and give your child enough time to process before repeating instructions or moving on to the next task.

Use a calm tone of voice: Autistic children may be sensitive to loud or abrupt sounds.

With this in mind using a calm and gentle tone of voice can help them feel more comfortable and receptive to what you’re saying.

Use sensory supports: If your child has sensory sensitivities, providing sensory supports can help them feel more calm and focused.

This could include a weighted blanket, noise-cancelling headphones, or a fidget toy.

Summary – Autistic child will not listen

It’s important to remember that every child with autism is unique, and what works for one child may not work for another.

Some autistic children may respond well to visual cues or written instructions, while others may benefit from more hands-on or experiential learning opportunities.

Working closely with a qualified therapist or specialist can help parents understand their child’s individual strengths and challenges and develop strategies to support their communication and listening skills.