If your autistic child is hitting others then that is distressing for all concerned. In this article we give you some ways to help stop this behaviour.
Autism and hitting others
Like with so much with autistic children there is not a one size fits all approach here. With that in mind it may well be worth trying a combination of the below to tackle the negative behaviour.
Identify triggers
Probably the most important thing to do would be first learn to understand the issue.
You can gain insight into why your child may be hitting others by keeping a log of when and where they are doing so.
You may notice a pattern such as your child being hungry, thirsty or tired. Or it could be that it was when he or she was at a particular venue or event.
Whatever the triggers try to keep a running log going, often a note on your phone is the easiest way of doing so.
Work on communication
Obviously all children are different but a common reason for an autistic child lashing out would be out of frustration.
They could well be frustrated because they are unable to communicate their wants and needs.
Consider and be open to different forms of communication such as picture cards or makaton as they could lead to a breakthrough.
Teach your child about empathy and pain
Some autistic children struggle with understanding empathy. Depending on the level of your child’s communication you could try and teach them the concept of pain and then empathy in others.
Using something like a stuffed animal at an appropriate moment you could explain that the toy is hurt and sad (using picture cards as necessary).
Or you could fein an injury yourself after a negative interaction with your child and explain that you need medical treatment using something like a kids doctors kit.
Then explain how after putting a bandage on or whatever the treatment was the bear (or you) became happy.
The point here is that your child may not understand the connection between their actions and causing other people pain.
If you can explain to them that pain is an undesirable sensation then that may stop them hitting others.
Reward good behaviour
If your child goes a session or a period of time where they do not lash out then be sure to praise them accordingly.
For example if they have previously hit other children at a soft play but on this occasion didn’t, praise them and perhaps stop for ice cream on the way home.
Don’t shy away from discipline
Speaking from experience I always struggled disciplining my daughter. I usually thought that she was unlikely to understand the link between the behaviour and the discipline.
Whilst that is sometimes the case you could operate a schedule of trial and error in terms of discipline.
Perhaps if your child hits another then you take away or hold back something which they want. I appreciate this could lead to a meltdown but it could also lead to a eureka moment where they associate the two.
Seek help
If therapy is an available option then I would recommend it. Behavioural therapists are trained and experienced in dealing with challenging behaviour such as hitting other children.
I would also recommend you take notes while the therapist is present so you can repeat some of the methods they employ.
Try not to feel too down
If your child hits another then it is heartbreaking in so many ways. As hard as it may be try not to feel too down about it.
Your child needs just a little bit more help to adjust to the difficulties of human interaction and it will likely come with time.
Summary – How to stop your autistic child hitting others
It is very difficult for parents if their child is hitting others. Ultimately the way to overcome this behaviour will vary depending on your child’s needs and level of understanding.
There are however some things you can try including, identifying triggers, using positive reinforcement, creating a structured environment, and teaching alternative behaviours.
It’s important to work closely with a healthcare professional who can provide individualised guidance based on your child’s specific needs.
