Raising or caring for an autistic child is a difficult task with one of the challenges being knowing what not to do.

In this article we go over some practices to avoid.

Naturally every autistic child is different but these are just some general issues to consider.

What not to do

The majority of our articles contain guides and help with suggestions of things you can try. This article is coming from the other angle with some practices we generally wouldn’t recommend.

Don’t force eye contact

Eye contact can be uncomfortable for some autistic children.

Forcing them to make eye contact can cause anxiety and make them feel uncomfortable.

Instead, try to find other ways to engage with them, such as using facial expressions and body language.

There are ways in which you can gradually improve your child’s eye contact but to outright force them would have a detrimental effect on their wellbeing.

Don’t assume they’re being difficult

Put simply, autistic children need to be given more slack than their neuro-typical peers.

It is common for autistic children may struggle with communication and social interaction.

This can lead to behavioural issues that may be misinterpreted as being difficult or disobedient.

It’s important to understand that these behaviours are often a result of their condition and not intentional.

Sometimes parents of autistic children need the patience of saints but it is very important to make allowances for their difficulties.

Don’t disregard sensory issues

Autistic people see, feel and hear the world in a different way to the neuro-typical.

This may mean that your child has some unique coping mechanisms for getting through daily life.

These mechanisms may seem strange to you but they may be very important to your child.

Disregarding these issues can lead to increased anxiety and behavioural problems.

Understanding their sensory needs and finding ways to accommodate them can be helpful.

Don’t assume they can’t communicate

Parents of autistic children should try to broaden their minds to alternative forms of communication.

Just because autistic children may struggle with communication that doesn’t mean they can’t communicate at all.

It’s important to find ways to communicate effectively, such as using pictures, gestures, and other forms of nonverbal communication.

Even a child pulling your hand towards a cupboard is them trying to communicate with you.

Try not to overload them

Autistic children can become overwhelmed with too much information.

Providing information in smaller chunks and using visual aids can be helpful.

Breaking down tasks into smaller steps can also be beneficial.

Have patience with eating and drinking preferences

I know first hand quite how rigid autistic children can be in terms of their dietary preferences.

But I have to remind myself that there are multiple reasons as to why my daughter may be repulsed by alternative options.

You can subtly try to introduce a wider range of food and drink but patience and understanding is paramount here.

Also it is important to note compare your child’s diet too closely to other children.

Yes there may be kids eating carrot sticks and raw broccoli but remember your child has challenges with food that they probably don’t.

Don’t dismiss their interests

Autistic children often have intense interests in specific topics, some of these topics may seem strange to you.

Dismissing or discouraging these interests can cause frustration and disengagement.

Instead, try to find ways to incorporate their interests into learning and play.

Don’t use sarcasm or figurative speech

I am keen to stress that this doesn’t apply to every autistic person but it is worth noting that many struggle with sarcasm and figurative language.

Using clear, direct language can be more effective in communicating with them.

Figurative speech is something which can easily slip into conversations for all of us.

You probably won’t be able to stop it all together but it may help if you try to tone it down.

Don’t neglect yourself

Raising an autistic child is an incredibly challenging journey. You will face challenges that parents of neuro-typical children wouldn’t even consider.

From time to time you may struggle with your mental health or overall well-being and it is important for you to address that. Try to find an outlet to either unwind or perhaps a sensitive ear to listen to your struggles.

If you cannot look after yourself you cannot look after your child.

Summary – What not to do with an autistic child

Caring for an autistic child requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to learn. Knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do.

By avoiding these common mistakes, you can provide the best possible care and support for your child and help them to thrive.