Unfortunately separations are a fact of life, in this article we establish what may be the best custody schedule for an autistic child.
Having an autistic child can put pressures on relationships far in excess of neuro-typical children.
With that in mind marriages and relationships in general can break down.
If you have come across this article you likely have the welfare of your autistic child at the top of your priorities so we are here to help.
Factors to consider
Custody arrangements can be complex and challenging to navigate for any family.
However, when a child has autism, the situation becomes even more complicated.
Autistic children often thrive on routine and consistency, making it crucial to establish a custody schedule that accommodates their needs.
There is no one-size-fits-all custody schedule for an autistic child. However, here are some general guidelines that can help parents establish a custody arrangement that works for their child.
Consistency, consistency, consistency
Children with autism thrive on structure and predicability, which means that a custody schedule should be as consistent as possible.
Ideally, the child’s daily routine should remain the same regardless of which parent they are with.
This means that mealtimes, bedtime routines, and daily activities should be consistent across both households.
In addition the days of the week in which the child is in a particular parents care should not really change from one week to the next.
If your child knows for example they are at their mother’s from Monday to Friday every week it will be much more palatable.
Minimise transitions
Transitions can be challenging for autistic children, so it’s essential to minimise the number of parental swaps the child has to make.
For example, if the child is in school during the week, it may be best to have them stay with one parent during the school week and the other parent on the weekends.
This can help reduce the number of transitions the child has to make and provide them with the consistency they require.
Consider sensory needs
Many autistic children have sensory sensitivities that can make certain environments challenging.
For example, some children may struggle with loud noises, bright lights, or certain textures.
When creating a custody schedule, parents should consider the child’s sensory profile and work together to ensure that both households are accommodating.
An example of this could be that one parents home may be close to a sports stadium. The noise and thoroughfare may be distressing to your child during game days.
A schedule which avoided those situations may be beneficial.
Involve your child in discussions
Depending on your child’s level of understanding, you should involve them in discussions.
Even if it is as far as just clearly explaining which days they will be at which parents.
Many autistic children may become distressed at unexpected events so if you can prepare them for transitions it will make the situation more comfortable.
A good idea may be to purchase a schedule board for your child’s bedrooms to highlight which days the child is at which parents.
Summary – Best custody schedule for an autistic child
Establishing a custody schedule for an autistic child can be challenging for all concerned.
It’s crucial to provide them with consistency, minimise transitions, communicate effectively and consider their sensory needs.
By working together, parents can create a custody arrangement that meets the needs of their autistic child and supports their overall well-being.
The best custody schedule for an autistic child is whatever works for them.
My takeaway from going through a divorce was to grant custody to one parent. I know it is harsh on the other but constantly moving a child back and forth is worse.
I hope everyone reading this is ok.
Sounds a bit unfair on one party does it not?
Custody arrangements are about upholding the rights and best welfare of the child not any imagined rights of the parents. It can be too upsetting for an autistic child to yoyo back and forth between parents in which case custody of one parent is in the child’s best interests. It is about doing what’s right for the child, not the parents’ rights to see their child, even if not seeing the child very often is the best option for the child.
Hi Wendy
Yes, completely agree that the child is the priority. Ideally it’s a situation which works for both parents too but that’s not always possible.