If you feel like your autistic child ignores you then you’re not alone. Below we delve into this behaviour and explain why it is happening.

Child with autism igoring you

As parents, we naturally crave connection with our children.

We long for those heartwarming moments of eye contact, smiles, and engaged conversations.

However, when raising an autistic child, these moments may be less frequent or even seem nonexistent.

It can be a source of frustration, confusion and heartache, leaving us wondering why our beloved child appears to be ignoring us.

But before you jump to conclusions or feel disheartened, let’s explore the topic to gain a deeper understanding of why this behaviour occurs.

The basics

Autism is a complex condition that affects the way kids perceive and interact with the world around them.

It is essential to remember that behaviours associated with the condition are not a conscious choice.

Instead autism is an intrinsic part of who they are, shaping their unique perspective and experiences.

Therefore, when your autistic child seems to ignore you, it is crucial to approach the situation looking through the lense of their world.

Communication struggles

Communication in general can be especially challenging for autistic children (and adults).

These difficulties may include vocalising or it is that they struggle with non verbal communication like gestures.

Sometimes it is things like changes of the tone of voice which to the neuro-typical provide information, to those with autism go unnoticed.

Even the direction of the communication can go unnoticed.

As a result, they may miss subtle signals that indicate you want their attention or that you are speaking to them directly

Intense focus

Autistic children may display intense focus on specific interests or activities.

When they become engrossed in something they love, it can be challenging for them to switch their attention to something else, even if it’s you trying to engage with them.

This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you; it simply means that their passion has captured their attention entirely.

Social struggles

Autism often impacts social communication skills, which can lead to difficulties in initiating or sustaining conversations.

Your child might struggle to understand the give-and-take nature of discussion, leading to instances where they seem unresponsive or uninterested.

Sensory overload

One of the key challenges for autistic children is processing sensory information.

Everyday sights, sounds, and even touches that most people take for granted can become overwhelming for our autistic children.

In busy environments or when multiple stimuli bombard their senses, an autistic child may withdraw or “shut down” as a way of coping.

During these times, trying to communicate may feel impossible for them, leading to the appearance of ignoring you.

Sensory seeking

On the other hand, some autistic children might seek out certain sensory experiences while avoiding others.

This can lead to them appearing distant or detached when they are merely trying to manage their sensory needs.

An example of this would be a child wanting to run or spin whilst you are trying to interact with them.

They are not being rude or distant, they are simply trying to scratch a sensory itch.

What can parents do?

So the million dollar question is what can parents in this position do to try and break into their child’s world?

Find common ground

Parents can engage in activities that align with your child’s interests.

This tactic is particularly relevant for children who have fixed interests in things like trains for example.

By participating in their passions, you can create moments of shared joy and connection.

Create a sensory friendly environment

If your child can become easily overwhelmed then creating a comfortable environment for them is crucial to building bridges to communication.

Understanding that sensory overload can be overwhelming for your child, create a calm and safe space where they can retreat when they feel the need.

This will provide them with the chance to recharge and return to interactions when they feel more comfortable.

Parents have had success with such tools as indoor tents such as this one on Amazon.

Another tool used by many are weighted blankets. Some families find they calm and sooth their children leading to improved interaction.

Either option can just provide them with the refuge they need to regroup if they become overwhelmed.

Use simple language

This is probably something which you have tried already but it is always worth reiterating.

Try to use clear and explicit language when speaking to your child, avoiding ambiguity and figurative language.

Be patient and give them the time they need to process and respond to your words.

Respect boundaries

Just like any other child, autistic children need their personal space and time.

Respect their boundaries and allow them to initiate interactions on their terms.

On the same theme it is worth remembering that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Try not to force your child in any way as they may become more resistant.

Get professional help

Working with therapists or teachers experienced in autism can provide valuable insights and strategies.

They can plan for improving communication and understanding your child’s needs better.

Summary – Autistic child ignores you

Remember, your child’s apparent lack of attention is not a reflection of their love for you or your parenting abilities.

It is an aspect of their unique neurological makeup.

By embracing their differences and providing the necessary support, you can build a strong and loving relationship with your autistic child.

Celebrate the moments of connection, no matter how small, and cherish the beautiful journey of raising an extraordinary child.