Children with autism can react in different ways to a growing family, in this article we explain what to do if your autistic child is jealous of your baby.
Autism and being jealous of a baby
Parenthood is a journey filled with both joys and challenges.
Introducing a new baby to the family is generally a heartwarming experience.
However, for parents with an autistic child, this momentous occasion can be met with unexpected emotions.
It is not uncommon for an autistic child to experience feelings of jealousy towards the new baby.
Therefore as parents, it’s essential to recognise and address these emotions with empathy and understanding.
In this article, we will explore the reasons behind an autistic child’s jealousy and provide guidance on how to foster a supportive environment for all family members.
Autism basics
Autism is a complex disorder that affects individuals differently.
Children on the autism spectrum often struggle with communication, social interaction, and sensory processing.
Change can be especially challenging for them, as it disrupts their routine and familiarity.
The introduction of a new sibling can be an overwhelming experience, bringing changes in the family dynamic.
It also can impact attention distribution and household routines, causing the autistic child to feel anxious and uncertain.
Fear of change
It is well known that autistic children thrive on predictability and routine.
The arrival of a new baby turns their predicable world upside down, leaving them feeling anxious and uncertain about what is to come.
Changes to routine would include meal times, bedtimes and even which parent completes which chores.
All of these breaks to what an autistic child knows and understands could lead to jealousy of their sibling.
Attention redistribution
The majority of children crave their parents’ attention, but autistic children might have a more intense need for it due to their unique challenges.
With a new baby demanding a lot of attention, the autistic child might feel neglected and isolated.
This will likely still be the case even if the autistic child has communication barriers and struggles.
Just because they don’t always interact with their parents doesn’t mean that they aren’t comforted by their attention.
Sensory overload
It cannot be understated what a complex mix of sensory inputs a new baby has on a household.
The sights, sounds, and smells associated with a newborn can be overwhelming for autistic children.
Their hypersensitive sensory perception might make them avoid interactions with the baby and feel jealous of their presence.
Communication difficulties
Expressing emotions can be challenging for autistic children.
This can lead to frustration and further isolation as they struggle to communicate their feelings of jealousy effectively.
If there are communication challenges, it also makes it a lot harder for parents to reassure their autistic child.
How to manage the jealousy
It is one thing knowing the reasons behind your autistic child’s behaviour, but knowing how to hand it is another challenge.
Here are some things to consider;
Prepare
This is clearly something for expectant parents as opposed to those dealing with the problem live.
Prior to the baby’s arrival, involve your autistic child in discussions about the upcoming change.
You can use visual aids or social stories to explain what will happen and reassure them that you will always love and support them.
Maintain routines
Whenever possible, try to maintain familiar routines for your autistic child.
This stability can provide a sense of security and minimise anxiety during this time of transition.
You can slowly incorporate new routines if needs be, accounting for your new addition to the family.
A very basic example of this would be having a repeatable sequence of events at mealtimes. This would involve feeding the new baby first then your autistic child.
Just that sense of knowing the order of things may make your autistic child feel more comfortable during this period.
Involve your child
Try to involve your autistic child in caring for the baby, based on their comfort level and capabilities.
Simple tasks, such as fetching diapers or choosing the baby’s clothes, can help develop a sense of responsibility and connection.
Create safe spaces
Designate areas where your autistic child can have some quiet time away from the baby’s sensory stimulation.
This safe space will allow them to decompress and regroup when feeling overwhelmed.
Parents have had success with indoor tents such as this one on Amazon, or with providing ear defenders.
Allocate time
Try to set aside dedicated one-on-one time with your autistic child, ensuring they receive the attention they need and crave.
This focused time will strengthen your bond and reassure them that they are still an important part of the family.
Teach ways to express emotion
Help your child learn to express their emotions effectively.
Encourage the use of visual aids, sign language, or any other communication tools that work best for them.
Some examples of tools you can use are emotion cards or picture cards.
Summary – Autistic child jealous of baby
As parents, it’s natural to want to create a harmonious and loving environment for all of our children.
When welcoming a new baby into the family with an autistic child, it’s vital to approach the situation with understanding and compassion.
By acknowledging the reasons behind their jealousy and taking steps to address their unique needs, we can help our autistic children adjust to the changes with more ease and support.
Remember, it’s a journey that requires patience and time, but with buckets of love, you can foster a strong bond between your children, creating a harmonious and happy family.
