If you have an autistic child who won’t feed themselves then you are not alone, it is more common than you think.

Autism and feeding themselves

As parents, we all want our children to grow, thrive, and gain independence at their own pace.

Each child is unique, with their own preferences and challenges.

For parents of autistic children, there may be certain behaviours that can puzzle or concern us.

One such behaviour is when our little ones show a reluctance to feed themselves.

It’s important to approach this situation with empathy and understanding, realising that there may be underlying reasons why your child may prefer assistance with feeding.

We explore this topic below and give you some tips on how to manage it.

Sensory factors

One common characteristic in autistic children is sensory sensitivity, which can profoundly impact how they experience the world around them.

When it comes to food, the sensory experience can be overwhelming for autistic children.

The textures, tastes, and even the visual appearance of certain foods can trigger sensory aversions.

It isn’t just the texture and taste of the food either, some children may be unhappy to hold cutlery also.

This can wind up leading to a reluctance to explore or consume foods independently.

Processing challenges

We sometimes think it’s helpful to imagine the world from your child’s perspective.

What seems like a simple task to us may be a complex and challenging process for them.

Coordinating movements, managing utensils, and processing sensory input simultaneously can be overwhelming.

For some autistic children, this can cause anxiety and frustration, leading them to rely on familiar routines and the comforting presence of a caregiver.

Routine and predicability

Another factor to consider is the need for predictability and structure that many autistic children rely on for a sense of stability.

Mealtimes can be particularly challenging if they disrupt established routines or introduce new and unfamiliar elements.

By providing assistance with feeding, you can maintain the familiar routine your child finds comforting and reduce their anxiety around mealtimes.

Parents stay strong

It’s important to foster a positive and supportive environment, both at home and in public settings.

Judgmental stares or unsolicited advice from others can add unnecessary stress to an already challenging situation.

Remember that you know your child best and are working towards their best interests.

Trust your instincts and focus on what is best for your child’s well-being.

It’s crucial to remember that independence is not a linear journey for everyone.

Just as your child may have reached certain milestones at their own pace, they may require additional support or accommodations in other areas.

Feeding is an essential part of their daily routine, and if they feel more secure and at ease with your assistance, it is a valid and understandable choice.

Slow process

While it’s understandable to encourage your child’s independence and self-feeding skills, it’s equally vital to respect their boundaries and comfort levels.

There will come a time when your child may express interest in exploring self-feeding, and you can support and encourage them through that process.

In the meantime, providing a nurturing environment where they feel safe and understood is paramount.

You can try a very gradual introduction to self feeding, starting with their favourite foods.

Slowly you can increase the amount to a point where they are having a snack by themselves, progress gently until it’s a meal.

Rome wasn’t built in a day however and patience will be required to overcome these difficulties.

Summary – Autistic child won’t feed themselves

As parents, our role is to be our children’s advocates, to support them unconditionally, and to embrace their unique journey.

By recognising the challenges and reasons behind an autistic child’s resistance to self-feeding, we can provide the understanding and compassion they need to thrive.

Remember, progress may not always come in the conventional form we expect, but it is always worth celebrating.

Parents should try a slow, step by step process utilising different communication methods.

With time love and patience they can make steps towards their child feeding themselves.