There can be many puzzling when aspects raising a child with ASD, but what about autism and being touched?
An autistic child and being touched
As a parent of an autistic child, you may have noticed that they have different preferences for touch than other children.
Some autistic children may not like to be touched at all, while others may crave physical contact.
This can be confusing and frustrating for parents, who may not understand why their child is shunning their affection.
In this article we dive into how ASD can impact your child’s preferences around physical touch.
Sensory factors
Like many issues relating to autism, preferences related to being touched are likely to be guided by sensory processing.
In summary, autism can affect the way the brain processes sensory information.
At the extreme end for some children with autism, touch can be overwhelming and even painful. This clearly explains why some autistic children may not like to be touched at all.
On the other hand, some autistic children actually crave physical contact.
This is because touch can provide them with much-needed sensory input. For children with autism, touch can help to regulate their emotions and calm them down.
It can also help them to feel more connected to others.
Social anxiety
Another reason why an autistic child may not like to be touched is because of anxiety.
Anxiety can make children feel uncomfortable and insecure, and this can make them react negatively to touch.
If your child is feeling anxious, they may pull away from you or even lash out when you try to touch them.
What to do if your child with autism doesn’t want to be touched
As parents it is very distressing to be shunned of physical attention from our children. It’s natural to long for hugs and even simple hand holding.
With that said, if your child does not like to be touched, it is important to respect their boundaries.
Do not force them to hug or kiss you if they do not want to.
Instead, find other ways to show them that you love them.
You can give them a gentle pat on the back, hold their hand, or rub their shoulders.
What if your child wants to be touched?
If your child does like to be touched, it is important to give them plenty of opportunities for physical contact.
You can hug them, cuddle them, or tickle them.
Another option it to take them to places where they can experience different types of touch, such as a swimming pool or a playground.
It is also important to be aware of your child’s sensory needs when it comes to touch.
Some children may only like to be touched in certain places, such as their head or back.
Others may only like to be touched with certain types of textures, such as soft fabrics or fur.
It is important to respect your child’s preferences and to avoid touching them in ways that they do not like.
Additions to your home such as weighted blankets or snug sleep sacks can help your child if they are very keen on the feeling of touch.
Professional support
If you are concerned about your child’s preferences for touch, you can talk to their doctor or a therapist.
They can help you to understand your child’s sensory needs and to develop strategies for managing their behaviour.
It is important to remember, every autistic child is different. What works for one child may not work for another.
The most important thing is to be patient and understanding, and to always respect your child’s boundaries.
Tips for managing touch
Here are some additional tips for parents of autistic children who have different preferences for touch:
Communicate
Explain to them that it is okay to say no to touch if they do not want it.
If your child struggles with communication, additions such as picture cards can help in that regard.
Help them to understand that they can set their own boundaries and that they should not feel pressured to hug or kiss anyone they do not want to.
Be aware of sensory needs
Pay attention to the types of touch that they do and do not like.
It is easy to forget when they have reacted in a specific way so you could take notes in your phone about preferences
Clearly once aware, avoid touching them in ways that they find uncomfortable.
Give them prior warning
Some children with autism embrace predicability meaning that a sudden touch can be alarming.
With that in mind you can give them prior warning that you are going to hug or hold them.
This will give them time to prepare for the touch and to decide whether or not they want it.
Respect their personal choices
Autonomy is very important to all of us. If your child has made a decision that they do not want to be touched, its important to respect that.
Do not stand too close to them or touch them without their permission.
Be patient
It may take time for your child to adjust to touch. Be patient with them and do not force them to do anything they are not comfortable with.
With patience and understanding, you can help your autistic child to develop a healthy relationship with touching.
Summary – Autism and being touched
Autism can impact a child in a number of different ways. One common area of impact is around touch.
It is important to recognise that if your child dislikes being touched it is not them being difficult.
It is more a reflection of how their condition impacts their day to day life.
Trying steps such as warning them in advance can slowly lead to increased physical affection.
