ASD can impact children differently but there are some commonalities, one of which is the link between autism and needing space.

In this article we explore why many autistic children are fond of keeping their own personal space.

We look at why that may be the case and perhaps how parents can help them cope.

The unique world of ASD

One characteristic that often stands out in autistic children is their desire for personal space.

This can range from them avoiding physical contact to just wanting to keep a distinct difference from others.

It can be disheartening for parents to see their child alone, seemingly disinterested in engaging with others.

Not only can children be disinterested in peers, it can also be the case with close family members.

What we all need to do however is realise that it isn’t them being deliberately unsociable. It is more a manifestation of how autism impacts their life.

When trying to understand why an autistic child likes their own space it is important to step inside their world.

Social Pressure

Social situations can be challenging for those with autism, of any age.

Small interactions which the neuro-typical would likely not even acknowledge can trigger stress and anxiety.

The reasons for this would be individual to the person but not understanding social cues is one common factor.

Social cues are the unsaid bits of communication which we often pick up on subconsciously.

They form part of conversations and interactions and weave a web of understanding between parties.

Then you have got aspects like physical touch. When we greet one and another we often have a quick hug, a handshake or even a kiss.

These physical interactions can feel uncomfortable for those with autism, so naturally they would be avoided.

Even things like having their photo taken can make a child with autism feel uncomfortable.

So then take a child or adult with ASD and picture them being alone, slightly distant from others.

In their own space, they can escape the social pressures they may encounter in other settings.

This solitude not only provides respite, it allows them to recharge and regroup when needed.

Special interests

Many autistic children develop intense interests in specific topics or hobbies.

These interests could be toy cars, train sets or puzzles.

Whatever the interest they often develop a strong desire to engage in this activity, very regularly.

Known activities like playing with a train set provide predictability and routine, two factors very important for many with ASD.

If you consider that a train set doesn’t spring any unwanted surprises and doesn’t ask for anything in return, it is understandable that this activity would be desirable.

So a child with autism needing space may be so that they can indulge in these solo, special interests.

Their own space provides them with the freedom to explore and indulge in these passions without judgment or interruption.

Reducing sensory input

As we often note on this site, excessive sensory input can be uncomfortable for those with autism.

Many of those with ASD are hypersensitive to external input.

Everyday sounds, lights, textures, and smells can be overwhelming for them.

Having their own space provides a refuge where they can control their sensory environment.

This leads to them minimising discomfort and stress.

What can you do about someone with autism needing space?

It is really important to note that forcing the issue can have negative consequences.

If you consider all the above points and summarise that their own space makes them feel comfortable, why would you want to take that away?

With that said however it is natural for parents to want their child to interact with others.

So like so much it is all about striking a balance between supporting your child’s needs and helping them develop.

Here are some things to consider;

Create a safe space

Parents could consider designating a specific area in your home as your child’s safe haven.

This space should be comfortable and tailored to their sensory preferences.

Soft cushions, dimmed lights, or noise-cancelling headphones can make a world of difference.

Some parents use indoor tents for this purpose.

What you are doing here is showing that you are supporting your child’s need for personal space. But at the same time you are almost isolating it for distinct occasions during a day.

Balance alone time with socialising

While respecting your child’s need for personal space, it’s essential to strike a balance between social interaction and alone time.

Encourage socialisation, but allow your child to retreat to their space when they need it.

A good way of doing this would be to encourage socialisation around their chosen interests.

For example if your child is heavily into train sets you could see if any local children have the same interest.

You could then invite them over with their own train sets. Rather than force a friendship you could navigate the situation with them playing alongside.

Your child will likely take an interest in the new train set and vice versa, before long they may even start interacting.

Respect boundaries

If during any intervention your child shows signs of distress or discomfort, respect their choices.

Encourage family members and friends to do the same. This will help your child feel secure and understood.

Again, trying to force interaction on your child will likely have the opposite effect and make them want to withdraw even further.

Slowly introduce them to social settings but respect their boundaries and red lines.

Communicate and prepare

Where possible maintain open lines of communication with your child.

Encourage them to express their needs and feelings. By understanding their preferences, you can better support them in creating a suitable support.

If it is your intention to introduce them to a social situation, prepare them in advance in whatever way you can.

You could try social stories or a schedule board, both would help your child understand what is to come.

Summary – Autism and needing space

Understanding and nurturing an autistic child’s need for personal space is a vital aspect of parenting.

By creating a supportive environment, you can empower your child to thrive and grow.

Remember that every child is unique, and it’s essential to adapt your approach to their individual needs.

With patience and love, you can guide your autistic child on their journey towards socialisation and calm.