Stimming can be a major part of life for those with ASD, but should you stop your autistic child hand flapping?

In this article we consider why your child may be hand flapping and if you should intervene.

Autism and hand flapping

There isn’t a league table for most common autistic stims, but if there were hand flapping would be in the top 3.

For a lot of people it is one of the most obvious signs of neurodiversity. This is because it is such a distinctive movement.

If you’re reading this article, you likely know what it involves. But hand flapping is usually the fast flapping when the individual is excited, bored or overwhelmed.

While hand flapping may appear unusual to neurotypical individuals, is serves important functions for autistic individuals.

Why do autistic children flap their hands?

As with any stim it’s important to dig into the behaviour to understand it’s causes. Here are some possible reasons for the behaviour;

Self regulation

Probably the most common reason for hand flapping is self regulation.

It often helps autistic children cope with sensory overload or heightened emotions.

When overwhelmed for various reasons, hand flapping can be a way to soothe themselves and regain control.

Sensory stimulation

Another common reason for hand flapping is a child seeking sensory stimulation.

As we know, autistic children often have unique sensory experiences.

Hand flapping can provide sensory input, which they may find comforting or pleasurable.

So to the neuro-typical it can look a little odd, however to the autistic it can feel really nice.

Communication

This may take some parents by surprise but children sometimes flap as a form of communication.

If you take a step back and realise that the flapping sometimes comes at specific events it becomes a bit clearer.

For example some children flap when their favourite character comes on the TV, or perhaps a preferred song starts playing.

Or it could be when food is about to be served or when they see an ice cream van.

The flapping therefore can convey a message of excitement or a desire to draw their parents attention to something.

It may not be communication in the typical sense but it is communication all the same.

Should you stop your autistic child hand flapping?

When considering intervening in your child engaging in any stim, it is something which requires a lot of thought.

Individual parents will have their own views and their own considerations. In addition no two autistic children are the same, so too is their propensity to stim.

One hand flapping child may do so for a small proportion of the day, another may do it ALL day.

It could be something which parents feel is really inhibiting their child’s development.

So it is not a question which you can answer with a yes or a no. What you can do is weigh up the potential consequences and the likelihood of ‘success’.

Can you stop them?

With the best will in the world, it may be very challenging to stop your child’s behaviour.

Parents all over the world have tried to reduce stims with no success.

Stimming has likely become a part of your child’s life and their coping mechanisms. It is not only a routine but a comfort blanket.

These are not things they are likely to give up easily.

So for parents to set about trying to stop the behaviour, you could be in for a lot of tears and resistance.

Should you even try?

As we’ve mentioned, the act of hand flapping may well make your child feel more comfortable.

It serves a genuine purpose which gives them some form of control in a confusing world.

Every parent wants their child to be happy and comfortable, so it is interesting that nearly all of us try to stop them stimming at least once.

Some parents view that a stim can become all consuming and that they have to intervene.

This could be a child who spins all day or who just rolls a car back and forth every waking moment.

It is understandable to be concerned here, how can we help our children develop if they won’t do anything but stim?

How will they ever make friends if they just jump on the spot all day?

Ultimately it’s a difficult decision fraught with challenges but parents shouldn’t chastise themselves whatever they decide.

How to stop them flapping

If you’ve made the decision to try to stop your child hand flapping here are some things you can try.

Replace the sensory input

If your child is flapping due to the pleasurable feeling it provides, try to find something similar.

There are all manner of toys on the market which are sensory minded but things like fidget spinners or squishy balls can help.

Something like indoor trampolines are another option which can be great for fulfilling a sensory need.

Try to make their environment calming

As mentioned above, some children flap because they are overwhelmed.

With that in mind, making their environment as relaxing as possible can help.

There are many things you can try ranging from noise cancelling headphones to indoor tents.

Comforting weighted blankets are also an option to consider.

Provide alternative forms of communication

Parents have had success with tools such as picture cards to help their child communicate.

The cards are simple in nature but they allow the child to get basic requests over to their parents.

Picture cards are a cheap way of testing the water with alternative forms of communication.

Summary – Should you stop your autistic child hand flapping?

Should you stop your autistic child from hand flapping? The answer lies in understanding the underlying reasons behind this behaviour.

Then you consider the reasons compared against the negative consequences.

The decision therefore is unique to the child and the parents.

Remember that every autistic individual is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.

Approach the situation with empathy, patience, and a commitment to ensuring your child’s well-being and happiness.

By doing so, you can create an environment that allows them to flourish and be their authentic selves.