One of the most difficult conundrums for a family is knowing what to do with an out of control autistic child.
In the below articles we will give you some tips to consider in your home.
What do we mean by out of control?
Firstly it is important to cover what we mean by an out of control autistic child.
When we use that term we are talking about the instances where you as a parent are at your wits end.
Where your child will not respond to direction or reason and their behaviour is disruptive to the extreme.
It is also important to point out that many if not all parents in our situation have been in this position.
Raising a child with ASD can be challenging and at some points we have all lost control.
Lets examine some of the likely causes and give you some ways of coping with the extreme behaviour.
What would lead to the behaviour?
As we often mention, every child with autism is an individual so reasons may vary. But with that said there are often commonalities in play.
Communication
Communication struggles are a hallmark of autism. Some children have speech, some do not but most would have some form of difficulty.
These difficulties could include understanding turns of phrase or repeating themselves.
However we believe that the most difficult aspect is not being able to reason with your child.
For parents of the neuro-typical, it is often easy to say “stop what you’re doing or…” then insert some sort of punishment.
But if a child doesn’t understand the direction and indeed the consequences then it can be a struggle.
Transitions
Getting a child to transition from one activity to the next can be a real battle for parents.
Practically speaking this could be moving from playing a tablet to a meal time or similar.
These difficulties with transitions can cause autistic children to go into a full meltdown and be very challenging to snap out of.
Repetitive Behaviours
Repetitive behaviours are common in children with autism. Some can be quite innocent in their nature but others can be challenging.
Some behaviours may even cross the threshold to where parents consider them out of control.
An example of this would be a child who constantly craves movement. This may present in them running, jumping, climbing or even humping all of the time.
Difficulties intensify when attempts are made to move this child away from these stimulative behaviours.
Probably the most difficult repetitive behaviour we have experienced is when they are into damaging things.
It is not uncommon for children with autism to enjoy damaging objects such as TVs and furniture.
This can be incredibly challenging and would usually constitute being out of control.
Breaks to routine
Routines can be incredibly important for children with autism. This can be to the point that any breaks to such routines can lead to difficult behaviour.
Sometimes these routines may seem so minor to neuro-typical people but they are present never the less.
Something like a change of cutlery can trigger an autistic child to go into a state of distress.
These states of distress can evolve into very disruptive behaviours.
Food and drink can become routine based for autistic children also. Strict preferences can lead to them being extremely resistant to any variance in meals.
What can parents do with an out of control autistic child?
The first thing we would recommend is to not chastise yourself unfairly. You are doing the best you can under difficult circumstances.
Your child’s behaviour is not a reflection on your parental ability, nor is it them being simply “bad”.
It is down to how this puzzling condition we are all dealing with has impacted your child.
With that said, here are some tactics to consider;
Try alternative forms of communication
As we mentioned above, communication is a key component in tackling bad behaviour.
It is a fair assumption to make that all families would have tried to develop this area. With that said however, many haven’t considered alternative forms of communication.
There are many options available but probably the easiest are simple picture cards.
These cards can be used to pass basic messages from child to parent. They can also be used to demonstrate when you are happy, sad or angry.
They can also be used to promise treats or rewards for good behaviour.
Provide sensory distractions
If an autistic child is out of control, the first battle would be to snap them out of this behaviour.
With that being the case it can be helpful to have some sensory distractions available.
These will vary from child to child but some which have worked for others include the following;
Learn patterns
It is important to work out what is causing your child to become out of control. It could be that they have sensory triggers or their behaviour deteriorates when hungry.
Whatever it is, try to pick up on these catalysts and have a plan to deal with them when they are present.
If for example one of your child’s triggers is transitioning from one activity to the next, try using a visible timer.
Or if it is your child’s behaviour breaks down at changes to routine, try a visual schedule board to explain what’s happening that day.
Get help/advice
Reach out to those in the autism communities to help you. This could be other parents, teachers or therapists.
You could post in forums on social media, both Reddit and Facebook have huge ASD communities. There you may find parents who have dealt with and come out the otherside of exactly the same struggles.
Look after yourself
Dealing with a challenging autistic child can be overwhelming. Your own mental health and wellbeing are an important piece of the puzzle.
Depending on where you live there are various avenues of support.
Try to take some time away from your child if possible or find outlets for you to let off some steam.
Summary – What to do with an out of control autistic child
If your autistic child is out of control it can be very challenging. At times it will feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Please be reassured that you are doing a good job, your levels of patience no doubt far exceed your parental peers already.
Learn about your child’s behaviour, reach out to others and operate a campaign of trial and error.
Celebrate the small wins and try to recognise the progress being made.
Good luck.
I think most people on this site can appreciate the image on this page. We’ve all had our heads in our hands at some point.