Raising children with ASD can come with unique challenges, such as an autistic child who always wants to be carried.

In this article we explore what may be behind the desire and what parents can do about it.

Autism and being carried

One common behaviour that some parents may encounter is their child’s constant desire to be carried.

This is even when it seems impractical or physically demanding.

Here are some reasons that may be behind the behaviour;

Comfort for the senses

Autistic children often experience heightened sensory input.

Being carried provides them with a sense of security and comfort. It may also reduce exposure to sensory input that can be overwhelming.

The close physical contact with a trusted caregiver can serve as a protective buffer. This helps the child feel more secure in unfamiliar or stimulating environments.

It could be the feeling of walking in puddles or tackling gradients which your child dislikes.

Or it could be the sound of cars driving past which causes them anxiety.

Whichever the actual trigger, it is likely their senses play a part in the desire to be carried.

Providing sensory feedback

Conversely to the above possibility, it may be that your child is seeking sensory stimulation.

The gentle movement and pressure of being held can be a pleasurable experience.

In the same way in which a lot of autistic children like swings, the feeling of swaying whilst being carried may be desirable.

The pressure of their carers hands may also assist the child in managing sensory overload or anxiety.

This brings us to an important point.

It’s essential for parents to recognise that being carried is not just about being lazy (although that may be involved).

Being carried is likely a coping mechanism for them whilst dealing with a difficult world.

Routine

Another likely culprit is your child’s fondness for routine.

Predictability and routines are essential for many autistic children. The act of being carried can become part of their routine, providing a comforting and predictable pattern in their daily lives.

Any deviation from this routine may lead to anxiety or distress.

Communication challenges

As we know, many autistic children struggle with communication difficulties.

This may make it challenging for them to express their needs or emotions verbally.

Requesting to be carried may be their way of communicating discomfort, fear, or a need for closeness.

It may also be that they can’t always understand instructions or information. For example you may have tried to explain to your child that the destination is just around the corner.

But if they cannot understand this information, they may feel like being carried is their only option.

What parents can do

Understanding why your autistic child wants to be carried is the first step in providing the support they need.

It may be one of the above reasons behind the desire, or it may be something else.

But once you have gotten to the root of the desire to be carried it’s time to try and do something about it.

Here are some tips and ideas:

Set boundaries

While it’s important to honor your child’s need for comfort, it’s also essential to set boundaries.

You will essentially be trying to balance their desire for being carried while fostering independence.

One boundary you could try and set is to use a timer to signify when they can be carried or not.

Over time your child may recognise an alarm on a phone as being time to get down.

You can slowly chip away at the length of the time being carried to the point that it’s for very short periods.

Cater to their sensory needs

As we mentioned above, it is possible that a sensory desire is causing this behaviour.

With that in mind try to cater to your child’s sensory needs where you can.

This can include sensory-friendly items such as weighted blankets (if they are in a buggy) or sensory toys.

Communication

Work on communication in whatever way you can. There are many different ways to communicate, consider options like picture cards to convey messages.

If you can explain to your child why you can’t carry them, that is a part of the battle won.

Reward progress

Try to take some really short journeys out, perhaps to post a letter or go to a convenience store.

If your child manages to go the whole way without requesting to be carried acknowledge that progress.

You could provide them a treat or some verbal praise.

Consider alternative modes of transport

If it is that your child hates walking then you can try and make journeys more exciting.

Consider investing in scooters, trikes or even buggy sideboards for your child.

Naturally it will depend on their coordination and ability to follow instructions.

But if you can help them to enjoy the journey then that may give your back a rest.

Be patient

Understand that your child’s need for being carried may vary from day to day.

Be patient and flexible in responding to their needs. Rome wasn’t built in a day so recognise it may take time to break this habit.

Summary – Autistic child wants to be carried

For parents of autistic children, the desire to be carried is not always sign of laziness.

It can often be a valid means of seeking comfort, security, and sensory regulation.

By recognising and respecting this need parents can create an environment that supports a sense of safety and security.

It is important to remember that each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.

By all means attempt any the above but you may also need to tailor your approach to your child’s specific needs.

Good luck