All kids can be difficult at times, but if you have a child with autism who is not following rules you’ll know how challenging this can be.

In this article, we’ll explore why autistic children may struggle with rules.

We’ll also offer some guidance on how parents can provide the necessary support and understanding.

Rules and autism

Life can be tough for parents but it can be equally tough for our autistic kids.

It’s therefore essential to understand that this behaviour is not always a sign of defiance or disobedience.

It is instead rather a manifestation of their unique needs and sensory experiences.

Rigidity

We speak about routines often on this site but they can lead to problems with rules also.

When rules change or are installed suddenly, a child may become upset or resistant.

It may even be that the child has developed a routine without their parents being aware.

So it seems like they are just refusing but it could be something only the child notices.

For example, an autistic child may watch a video on repeat and only ever transition away after a certain moment passes.

To the parent it seems like their child is being belligerent and not following directions.

But for the child they’re looking for that routine of watching until a certain point.

So for parents it is a case of looking out for where certain routines have developed and respecting them.

In addition parents can provide advance notice of any upcoming changes. This could be via something like a schedule board.

Social difficulties

Autistic children may struggle to grasp the subtleties of social rules and norms.

This can lead to situations where they inadvertently violate social expectations.

An example could be not wanting to relinquish their turn on a swing in the park.

The child may simply not understand the social norm of acknowledging turn taking and how long others have been waiting.

Instead of reprimanding them, parents can gently use visual aids or social stories to illustrate the rules of society.

They can also provide opportunities for social skill development through structured playdates or therapy.

Sensory factors

As we know, autistic children often have heightened sensory sensitivities.

But what isn’t always mentioned is how they can make adhering to certain rules difficult.

For instance, a child might resist wearing certain clothes or eating specific foods due to sensory discomfort.

It could be that parents simply didn’t realise that the resistance was due to sensory factors.

We should all try to recognise that their reactions are not about being stubborn.

It is rather a way to cope with sensory overload.

Parents can help by finding alternatives that are more comfortable for their child while still meeting the intended goals.

Communication

Issues with communication are extremely common and can play havoc with following rules.

When a child struggles to express their needs or emotions, they may resort to behaviours that appear rule-breaking.

Trying alternative forms of communication, such as visual supports or sign language, can help.

These methods dan bridge this gap and reduce frustration for both the child and the parent.

Intense focus

Children with autism can develop intense interests in topics or items. These fascinations can lead to almost everything else being irrelevant to them.

This includes rules and directions.

So when it appears as if a child is not following a rule it may be just that rule hasn’t sunk in.

External directions can be like ‘white noise’ to an autistic child who is lost playing with their favourite toy.

Try to be patient

This is noted whilst being fully aware of how difficult this can be.

Any child not following rules can make you want to pull your hair out, but autistic kids amplify this stress.

All that said, we all have to find the strength to be patient.

Understand that your child is doing their best to navigate a world that can be overwhelming and confusing.

Focus on their progress rather than perfection, and celebrate their achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

Summary – Child with autism not following rules?

Raising an autistic child can be a rewarding journey filled with unique moments of achievement and happiness.

But it is not all sunshine and roses.

While it’s natural to encounter struggles along the way, remember that your child’s difficulties with following rules are not deliberate acts of defiance.

By approaching these challenges with understanding and patience you can help your child thrive and navigate the world with confidence and resilience.

Together, you and your child can learn, adapt, and grow.

With time and persistence, this growth should develop into them being more comfortable following rules.

Good luck