If your autistic child is jealous of their sibling it can be a difficult situation to handle. In the below article we explore what may behind the feelings and what you can do about it.

Sibling jealousy and autism

In our experience it is actually quite common when an autistic child displays jealousy toward their siblings.

When addressing the situation it’s important to remember that jealousy is a normal emotion and is common in neuro-typical relationships also.

With that said it can be especially challenging to manage when autism is thrown in the mix.

Here are some factors which may be leading to the jealousy;

Fondness for routine

As we all know, routines and predicability are often important for autistic children. The problem is however that routines can’t be in place for ever.

It may be that a certain routine has had to be broken as a result of caring for a sibling, this can spike frustration and jealousy.

An example of this would be the sibling starting soccer/football practice at the weekends.

A child with autism may have been used to a specific parent making their breakfast each weekend. But then suddenly the routine is out of the window as mom or dad is taking the sibling to practice.

These breaks in routine can occur for a wide range of reasons, even the bedtime changing of a sibling could lead to jealousy.

Social factors

It is sadly common for autistic children to struggle socially and find making friends difficult.

With that being the case they can often watch on with quiet envy as a sibling makes friends.

Practically speaking things like their sibling being invited to birthday parties or having friends over can cause jealousy.

This can be heartbreaking for parents to witness, speaking from experience.

Mealtimes

Autistic children can be very fussy with their food, in fact this is one of the more common traits of the condition.

With that being the case they may become jealous if a sibling is provided a certain foodstuff.

For example, my autistic daughter loves chocolate, it’s one of the only foodstuffs she finishes regularly.

As such she often is provided a small piece after each meal when my son will have a yoghurt or similar.

But like all kids my son also likes chocolate so I will try and treat him on the sly on different occasions.

Well if my daughter sees a hint of chocolate and her not being involved she gets very jealous.

Even an empty wrapper in the bin can have that effect.

General attention

Some children with autism may struggle to grasp the concept of their parent having to spread their attention.

Even simple processes like the sibling being read a book or playing a game can spike jealousy.

What parents can do

Managing jealousy in autistic children can be a difficult subject to manage. Here are some tips which may help you.

Communicate however you can

An autistic child’s level of communication and understanding will vary from one to another.

Overcoming jealousy will involve some form of communication to explain to them reasons for actions.

Using such tactics as social stories can be helpful or even picture cards to explain how for example, time has to be split evenly.

Manage routines

As mentioned above, routines can be a source of comfort for children with autism. With that being the case if you intend to break a routine it is important to give them as much warning as possible.

If we use the soccer practice example from above, it may help to explain the night before.

You could use a tool like a schedule board to show that the following morning you are taking the sibling to practice.

When the morning comes around remind your autistic child what is going to happen once more.

One to one time

If your autistic child is feeling jealous of the attention you are giving their sibling it’s important to reassure them of your love.

Set aside one-on-one time with your autistic child to reassure them of your commitment and attention.

This can be a time for shared activities or just cuddling and reading together.

Help them socialise

Knowing that children with autism can struggle to socialise, sometimes we have to step in.

Help your child make friends by seeking out like minded children. For example if your child is heavily into trains, see if there are any clubs in the area which facilitate this interest.

You could research on social media also for special needs clubs and activities which may be good avenues for friendship.

Alternatively if you have for example cousins who play nicely with your autistic child, increase time spent with them.

Encourage sibling friendship

If your autistic child is jealous of their sibling then you won’t want the relationship to decay.

Find common interests between the two and encourage joint play and enjoyment.

It may also be helpful to speak to your neuro-typical child to explain how their sibling feels.

They may react well to this intervention and start engaging with their sibling more.

Summary – Autistic child jealous of sibling

Jealousy is a common emotion among children, but for autistic children, it can be more challenging to handle.

Understanding the underlying causes and implementing strategies to address sibling jealousy is vital for maintaining a harmonious family environment.

Remember that it’s okay to seek help from professionals who can provide guidance and support tailored to your unique situation.

With patience, love, and effective communication, you can help your autistic child overcome such feelings.

Good luck.

Any tips or ideas?

We would love to hear from you if you have got any techniques or ideas for our readers to try.

Be sure to leave a comment if any of the above has helped or if you have any ideas we can add to this article.

Also be sure to search for any other articles you might find helpful.

Try for example searching below for topics like ‘meltdown’ or ‘communication’.