If you have an autistic child who won’t wash this can be an incredibly tricky situation to deal with.

In the below article we explore what may be behind the behaviour and give you some tips on dealing with the problem.

Autism and washing

Issues with bathing and washing in general are common with autistic children. In fact after a quick search online it seems like the majority of parents have some issue here.

Lets consider what may be behind the reluctance first.

Sensory input

As we all know, sensory factors can be behind a number of behaviours in autistic children.

It therefore is highly likely that sensory concerns are a driver in this reluctant behaviour.

Water, soap, and textures during washing can be all be intense and overwhelming for autistic children.

These are inputs which we would not generally notice, take the smell and the feel of soap for example. Most neuro-typical adults would like the smell associated with soap.

But for autistic children it could be overpowering to the point of repulsion.

The same could also be said for the slimy feel of soap. Whilst some children (including my daughter) might like the feeling of it squishing between their fingers. Others with touch sensitivity may find it disgusting.

Even water itself may be uncomfortable for some autistic children. The temperature may have an impact or just the feeling of liquid on their skin.

Fixed interests

Autistic children can develop fixations on certain toys or activities which can dominate their headspace.

These fixations can be on something such as trains, the ABC’s even a cartoon character.

But whatever the focus they become incredibly important to our autistic children.

Now for a second picture you had an interest which was all consuming to you. It was all you thought about and all you wanted to spend your time doing.

Now picture someone ripping you away from that to lather your hands, body and face in soap.

I think you would be reluctant too.

This reluctance would be amplified if there were communication blockers in place.

Worthy of its own heading in itself, communication will be a common problem here also.

Put simply there may be blockers to you being able to explain to your child why washing is important.

Concepts of germs, sickness and cleanliness could be completely alien to them.

Breaks to routine

As we know, routines can be very important to those with autism. Any break to what your child sees as a consistent routine could be anxiety inducing.

The problem with washing is that it doesn’t always take place at set times.

For example your child may have been playing out in your garden and their hands may be covered in mud.

Now usually, at this time of day you wouldn’t subject them to a hands wash but you can’t let them walk around smearing mud everywhere.

So a spontaneous hands wash in these circumstance may cause distress in your child.

What can parents do if their autistic child won’t wash

As I stated at the start of this article, this is not a simple behaviour to address. With that said however here are some tactics to consider;

Cater to sensory needs

It is likely that sensory aversions are a key part of your child’s behaviour.

With that being the case and you knowing them better than anyone, try to cater to their sensory needs.

There are various scent free soaps and body washes on the market, such as this one on Amazon.

You could operate a process of trial and error to find one which did the job and your child was more comfortable with.

Along the same line of thought you could experiment with different temperatures of water.

Our default as parents would be a nice warm temperature but it may be that your child likes cold or hot water.

Its worth trying just to see if it is preferable to them.

Make washing fun

You can try to find a way to help your child enjoy washing themselves.

In the case of a bath you could let them choose some toys to play with whilst in there.

Likewise if we’re talking about hands washing you could use a toy bowl for the process.

Something like this could help whereby they wouldn’t necessarily see the washing as a chore.

They could see the activity as a time for fun but you know the main benefit is a good washing.

Allow autonomy

Something which really works in my house is allowing my daughter a degree of control over her destiny.

Now clearly you wouldn’t allow them to choose to wash or not wash but you could add a slight option.

“Do you want to wash your hands in the bathroom or the kitchen?”

“Which sort of soap do you want to use?”.

“Do you want me to fill the bowl up?”.

These sort of questions will allow your child to feel like they are part of the decision making process, not just along for a ride.

Have a washing routine

You can attempt to create a schedule of hand washing which over time your child accepts.

The key with building routine is to make a plan and stick to it.

Using a tool such as a schedule board could well help you here. You can explain in pictures or words that before every meal (for example) you wash your hands.

Lead by example as well by showing your child that you too are sticking to the schedule.

The same goes for processes like baths and showers.

Where possible keep these events at distinct times of the day along with sequences of other events.

For example of an evening you may give your child a meal, then bathe them, then put on their pyjamas, then tell them a story.

Once a routine gets embedded then this might click for your child and their reluctance disappears.

Summary – Autistic child that won’t wash

Autistic children may resist washing due to a number of reasons.

These include sensory overload from water, soap, and textures. The discomfort with touch, unpredictable water temperature, and aversion to routine changes can contribute to their reluctance.

Establishing a consistent, predictable washing routine that accommodates their sensory needs can pay dividends.

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t crack this right away, it’s a tricky situation to deal with.

Good luck.

Any tips or ideas?

We would love to hear from you if you have got any techniques or ideas for our readers to try.

Be sure to leave a comment if any of the above has helped or if you have any ideas we can add to this article.

Also be sure to search for any other articles you might find helpful.

Try for example searching below for topics like ‘meltdown’ or ‘communication’.