It’s that time of year where the trees are going up so we thought we’d write an article about autism and Christmas.
Many parents reading this article will be in the same position, looking forward to the big day but with a dash of anxiety.
How will our children react to presents? Will they behave if we have guests? Will they eat any of the Christmas lunch?
All these questions can leave us feeling a little uneasy. So with that in mind, here are a selection of tips we have prepared.
Tips for an autistic child at Christmas
In no particular order, here are some things that we have put in place over the years which have helped the holiday season go smoothly.
To host or not?
We’re starting off controversially here as many parents will have key red lines here.
The reason that collectively we think the topic of hosting is an important one is that it can make such a difference to the day.
One train of thought with an autistic child at Christmas is to stay at home and host yourselves. That way your child has all their creature comforts and will be as relaxed as possible.
The other train of thought is to visit relatives so that you can just concentrate on your child rather than hosting duties.
After a heated debate at Autism Parents we believe it is very personal to you and your child’s needs.
Our advice would be however to be honest with friends and family. If for example you didn’t think you were up to hosting then explain why.
Likewise if you always want to stay at home then be open with loved ones as well. Ultimately your family will understand that life with an autistic child can dictate certain aspects from time to time.
Presents
Presents are an interesting topic when discussing autism and Christmas. There are a lot of moving parts but most will agree it needs some thought.
Firstly you have the concept of Father Christmas. Speaking personally I feel uncomfortable lying to my daughter about where her presents come from.
Afterall the world is confusing enough for her let alone with a decade long lie involved.
But equally I don’t want her to miss out on that intrigue and excitement of him delivering presents.
How I handle it is to explain that Mummy and Daddy buy the majority of the gifts but she may get something small from Santa.
Maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong but I wanted to straddle a middle ground if I could.
Another complicated factor is your child’s reaction to gifts from loved ones.
Most would have experienced a classic deadpan reaction from their kids and it can be upsetting to people like grandparents.
Forcing thank you’s can also be tough. Many autistic children either struggle with speech or hate being forced into saying things.
How we handle this is to open presents just our immediate family together. We then help both our kids make thank you cards which they enjoy.
Food
We have probably 50+ articles on the ins and outs of food with an autistic child. But Christmas and autism also brings added complications here.
Where to start.
Firstly you have the fact that a child with autism isn’t likely to gobble down a Christmas dinner.
In our household we have to stick to one of her 2 or so meals our daughter will eat, even if that means chicken nuggets for Christmas lunch.
Another complicated factor is the amount of Chocolate flying around at Christmas. If your home is like ours then suddenly there is a tsunami of treats all over the place.
Our tactic is to hide 90% of it to avoid the tantrums and spoilt appetites that would otherwise result.
Break to schedules
Routines are incredibly important to most autistic children. With that being the case the sheer confusion of changes to routine over Christmas can cause trouble.
For us it is all about preparing in advance. Using visual supports and schedule boards we prepare our daughter from about a week out.
We explain where we are going, who will be there and how long we are staying.
It is all in an attempt to make her feel comfortable on the day and has worked well over the years.
Christmas presents for children with autism
To wrap up this article (pun intended) I thought I would provide a few examples of some toys which have gone down well in our house.
Some of them are a bit random but they may give you some ideas as last minute suggestions.
Home disco lights – These are a firm favourite and can calm our daughter if she is otherwise distressed.
Slime bucket – Pretty self explanatory but for children with sensory needs this may be popular.
Bubble machine – This will depend on your setup at home as to if you were happy to use it indoors. We do however and our daughter and her autistic friends love it.
Microphone toy – I genuinely believe these microphones are a golden ticket towards speech. For our daughter they really helped her try to express herself and are still fun to this day.
Indoor trampoline – Perhaps a cliche but trampolines can be incredible for kids with autism.
Sensory hugging toy – These vibrating toys are very popular with children with autism in our experience.
Summary – Autism and Christmas
Christmas time is an amazing time for the family but it can bring with it stress and challenges.
Being open and honest with family members whilst making adjustments for your child will make it easier.
If you have any tips or tricks then please feel free to add them in the comments. I bet there are some amazing strategies out there with our readers.
