Having an autistic child who won’t sit on the toilet can be a very difficult situation to deal with. From experience however it is something which can be overcome.

Below we explore what may be behind a child’s aversion to sitting on the toilet and what parents can do about it.

Why may an autistic child not want to sit on the toilet

With our daughter this was a major problem, right from when we attempted when she was aged around 3.

No matter how much we tried to coax her onto the toilet she just wouldn’t sit.

Well we won’t promise any quick fixes as it took years to overcome (what I would call) her phobia but half the battle was working out why she had an issue with it.

Naturally all autistic children are individuals and it will vary from boys to girls as well but here are some reasons which may be behind your childs avoidance.

Change in routine

An autistic child sitting on the toilet is usually part of a wider attempt to potty train them.

Well any break from their current toileting schedule is a step away from a comforting routine.

Of course they would have seen various family members sitting on the toilet, but THEY hadn’t.

Why would they need to, why would they want to? The child is probably completely fine with their current toileting regime.

Demand avoidance

Something which most parents in our position would have experienced is demand avoidance.

This is a condition, sometimes co-existing with autism, characterised by intense resistance to demands and expectations.

Well what may be a request from a parent sounds a lot like a demand to an autistic child. They may therefore in fact just be clamping down and saying no, whatever you try to bribe them with.

Fear of germs

Some autistic kids might have a fear of germs or toilets themselves, leading to reluctance to use them.

If all they ever know is pooping in a diaper then that’s something which they hardly have any interaction with.

Mom or Dad just takes it away, they don’t use their hands at all.

Sitting on a toilet involves often holding onto a part of the toilet for children. They may associate the area (rightly) with germs and mess and not want to touch it at all.

Alternatively they could just have general anxiety.

This could be related to past experiences, such as potty training difficulties or witnessing someone else having a negative experience.

Sensory factors

As we know, autistic children can be highly sensitive to sensory input.

The textures, sounds, and smells associated with toilets might be overwhelming for them.

This could include discomfort with the cold seat, the flushing sound, or the smell of cleaning products.

How to get an autistic child to sit on a toilet

Knowing what may be behind the aversion is half the battle. Getting an autistic child to sit on a toilet completely is another challenge.

Here are some things to consider;

Don’t force them

This is coming from experience. We tried to physically force our daughter onto the toilet and it set us back months or years.

It was a moment born out of frustration but it was ill-advised.

If you think about it, imagine it was something you were scared of and huge giants physically restrained you and forced you to do as they demand.

This would be stress inducing for anyone.

Baby steps

Something which worked for us was to break down the process into smaller parts.

Firstly we played a game where we build a ‘toilet’ out of cushions on our sofa. We had a flush and a seat made out of cardboard.

We played a game of hide and seek where the counter sat on our ‘toilet’ and counted to 10.

Our daughter was quite happy to play along with this game and it was the first step to getting her on the toilet properly.

We then moved to changing the cardboard seat to a real (brand new I add) toilet seat and left that lying around.

It allowed our daughter to get comfortable playing with it and sitting on it herself.

Use props

Another tactic to consider is to use tools like your childs favourite stuffed animals and have them sit on the toilet.

Next time your child is in the bath you could bring a stuffed toy to sit and watch her whilst she bathes.

Obviously be careful not to drop the toy down the toilet (disaster!) but it may break down some of your childs fear.

Let them watch

A tactic which is in most toilet training manuals but it did work for us. We engrained a rhythm of going to the toilet at set times such as first thing in the morning and before bed.

Knowing her fondness for routine she quickly got used to accompanying us to the toilet.

We’d talk and be very causal whilst sitting on the toilet to help her feel comfortable.

Let them sit clothed

Another tactic you could try is to let your child sit either fully clothed or just in their underwear.

Distract them with brushing their teeth or similar but just try this as a baby step to getting them to sit properly.

Adjust for sensitivity

It may be their sensory issues causing the problem so you could see if you can make them more comfortable.

There are such things as heated toilet seats or even those which are different textures. If you think that sensory factors are in play you may need a process of trial and error.

Summary – Autistic child won’t sit on the toilet?

There could be a number of reasons behind your childs toilet seat avoidance. The first step in tackling the problem would be to find out what is behind it.

Once armed with that information consider trial and error and a whole lot of patience to get you through.

Good luck everyone.

Any tips or ideas?

We would love to hear from you if you have got any techniques or ideas for our readers to try.

Be sure to leave a comment if any of the above has helped or if you have any ideas we can add to this article.

Also be sure to search for any other articles you might find helpful.

Try for example searching below for topics like ‘meltdown’ or ‘communication’.